Have you ever noticed yourself doing the same things again and again and then getting annoyed with yourself at the results you generate? As a coach and facilitator, you’d assume that this is something that people like myself would be able to avoid. But no, despite our skills and knowledge, we also become hostages to our patterns, constantly and I have to say, I like it that way. The important thing is, for how long? My approach is to notice them (spotting them can be a job in itself, sometimes they can seem very illusive), learn from them and make changes to better life as a result. Some need several cycles before they shift so don’t give up. It might be that the pattern is about always putting others first or not saying what you really think – whatever happens as a result of the patterns really opens our eyes to what needs to change at the core of the behaviour.
Recently, I have found myself ready to really go to work on something more substantial, in some respects it could be seen as a lifes work in itself. I have called this my ‘Doing things differently’ strategy. It is a three pronged approach designed to thoroughly interupt the behaviours which still play out time and time again and which are now ready to be jettisoned. It’s very scary in some respects, they have lived with me for many many years, I feel comfortable with them but hey, it’s time…those old patterns are no longer useful and they are holding me back.
The three prongs to my strategy are:
Truth – identifying what is important, daring greatly, standing by it, acting on it, speaking it.
Letting Go – of what’s not important, reducing waste, conserving energy, minimising effort.
Impact – focusing on whats important, being proactive, increasing impact, thinking clearly about intention and planning effectively for it
These three prongs guide me on how I am in the world; they impact from the tiniest choice to the biggest decision in everything I do. They help me hold myself to account. My checking mechanism is, if I let the old pattern run on this, would that be ok? If it is, then fair enough, that’s to be left alone. If it’s not then it’s time to activate ‘Do It Differently’. By creating these new, intentional patterns based on what it is that is important now, I get to live and be in the world how I want to live and be now and not by default. Like all new behaviours, they need embedding, practise as with any new skill is all part of the change process. If you are not quite ready yet, have a look at my blog post on readiness and check in where the sticking points might be.
If you were going to design a strategy for yourself which aimed to shift some of the behaviours which are getting in your way, what would yours look like?
Let me know how you get on and I will too.